I am looking for love.

I feel like in this day and age it can be a risky thing to say.

It may sound better to be just fine on our own, to find love and all needs in oneself. And yes, I am team self-love, but I do not think that the one can exist without the other.

You won’t know how to love others if you don’t love yourself, but you also won’t know how to love yourself if you haven’t experienced love and connection with other beings.

In the interactions, we truly learn what we need – how we give or receive love, how we want to be loved.

It’s all interdependent.

And I don’t exclusively mean love between humans. When I think of love, I think of the love for this earth, love for moments that leave us at a loss for words, love for the things we cannot name, love for the little things that put a smile on our faces, love for things that are invisible to the eye but felt strongly in our hearts. A love that gives us strength and power in our darkest times.

To me, true love is not something that is reserved just for one person or one thing. I have a deep knowing that I am loveable and loved since I started to acknowledge that love is available for me at all times because it was always inside of me. For the longest time I thought love was only accessible in so-called romantic relationships because that is the story the media, society and our surroundings are trying to tell us. To me now, this narrative could not be more wrong. It only fuels the fear of and/or lack of love that many of us feel, consciously or unconsciously.

Some associate love with a more “positive” feeling, but that is not how I understand love. When I speak of love as an abundant feeling of being whole, I mean this kind of love that knows and embraces all there is, including what some people may call “flaws” or “disruptions” in life. You cannot have a “perfect” life. Love and life are meant to be felt in all feelings and colors that make life so uniquely, chaotically beautiful.

Knowing what I know now, and feeling this endless source of love, I feel whole and full of love at all times. And I know this is true for everybody. You do not have to wait for a person, an event, or an experience to be worthy of love or to be loved. You are loved and worthy right here and now, with all that you are. Trust yourself and tap into your inner knowing. You do not have to search outside of yourself because it is already within you.

When you find this deep love inside of you, the right kind of people will know and see you. And what a beautiful thing it is to then share the love, knowing that we have always been worthy and capable to love just because we ARE. From there, you will move from lack to abundance and from fear to freedom.

Being loving or loved does not happen with or because of another person – true love comes from inside of you and is not there to be possessed or owned by anyone, it is there for you to see life through love. A love that inspires you and gives you a sense of direction.

To me, true love is deeply rooted in my own self, in my own heart. True love is knowing that all creatures are one.

I am always looking for that love. In me, in you, in us. In every one and every thing.

Especially these days, where the world is a scary place to exist in, where we’ve learnt to distrust, where it’s easy to lose hope and fear love. We fear love because we are scared to be vulnerable, we are scared to show our whole selves, to strip down naked – emotionally. We fear love because we fear we might lose it.

We fear love because we see the hate, division and discrimination in this world and are not sure if it’s worth loving and caring for. We isolate to protect ourselves and our hearts.

But especially under these circumstances, we need to be more loving and kinder toward ourselves and others. We need to go into difficult conversations with grace and compassion.

When I care for myself, I care for you and this world. When I’m loving toward myself, I can be loving toward others.

With love comes grief. Loving life means grieving the lives lost. It hurts and it’s painful to look at the state of the world, but I refuse to give in to numbness.

I refuse to not feel.

Feeling and sitting with those feelings can be intense, but I’d rather feel love and grief than nothing at all. My feelings are messengers and show me that it is important to care for each other, for this world. My feelings activate and motivate me. I’m here to tell you to be brave, to feel, to love, to care.

I choose (to see) love. Will you join me?

 

©  privat